It hit me today that my life, the future I envisioned for myself, is not my reality nor will it ever be. My dreams to be a silly old lady one day making my grand-kids uncomfortable, dancing around with blue hair silly clothes, well…I probably will never live long enough to even see my grand-kids. I’m not even sure I’ll live long enough to watch my own children reach adulthood. That thought is devastating to me. This is certainly not the life I expected.
I never expected to be ill. I never expected to be slowly ravished by this disease till there’s nothing left of me to give.