I scream with rage
You twist my words
You think you’ll win?
You make me question
That’s it’s all in my head
Would you rather
That I end up dead?
You think I like this
You rather I feel
I’m going insane?
What do I want?
I want to dance
I want to act with reckless abandon
Without worrying about having to pay for it later
I want to chase my kids again.
I want to play and go out without having to
Chase a pain pill first.
I want to live in the moment and not have to
Plan every little thing.
I want my kids to be able to know that
I can pick them up whenever they need
I want to volunteer at my daughter’s school
I don’t want to have anxiety over a concert five months in advance.
Where will I park? What if it’s a long walk? Will the noise be too overwhelming?
Will I need a pain pill? How will I drive home if I do?
Will I be able to sway to the music and get into the beat.
Without grabbing my back flaring in pain?
Will I have to sit the whole time cause it hurts to stand?
I want to run again.