I am not normal. I am different. I do not metabolize medications or react to them in the typical fashion. I do not present normally with illnesses, disease processes, my blood does not show inflammation. I am not normal. I am different. I am a Zebra surrounded by horses. The system has forgotten they even exist…
I am punished for being different. I am treated differently for how my body presents itself and reacts to things. If only I could trade bodies for a week, a day, a year… a lifetime.
I do not bruise right away. Sometimes it’s days later. When my nerve acts up, it doesn’t follow the traditional pattern. So they assume I’m making it up or malingering. If I wanted to make something up, I would study and follow the course of things. Who the hell would ever make up something so freaking odd. I am simply different. And I am punished for it. I am treated differently, typically assumed as a drug seeker. Fun times.
Even with full inflammation in my body, a moderate flare up of ulcerative colitis, joints flared up with inflammation on ultrasound, my blood is normal. It does not show the inflammation in my body. It betrays me to standard medicine. They assume I’m fine. Or lying.
I am sensitive to pain. I metabolize pain meds quite quickly. Yet you could load me up with Valium and it has no effect on me. Nor do muscle relaxers. My hubby would be passed out on one and yet to me, it does nothing. It doesn’t help either. I react ok with short term meds but am not affected by long term meds. I don’t process them. I’m highly sensitive to SSRI’s. Half of the lowest dose would make me high as a kite and it does not relent. I don’t take them.
I suffer, not so silently, in pain, quickly metabolizing the medications I am given for it but never any more even when something new and acute arises. Soon they’ll probably look to take my sleep meds away. I am being punished for being different.
I broke my nose yesterday, yet I did not bleed. (I bled a little today). There are no bruises around my eyes but my nose is broken. I am different. I have vibration sensations throughout my body at times and no answers. I feel like I have a metabolic issue but my blood betrays me. It’s normal.
When my electrolytes are slightly low, it affects me greatly. One tiny drop below normal and I react. And yet doctors don’t bother to mention it to me as it is not normal to react as I do. They forget I’m a Zebra. I don’t make sense. I am not normal and I am punished for it.